


Let Me Be There

by FreshPrincess_ishere



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Mental Health Issues, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 08:35:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9713648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreshPrincess_ishere/pseuds/FreshPrincess_ishere
Summary: If there's no-one around, she's safe. She won't get attached. She'll learn how to heal, to push past her problems and live whatever is left of her life comfortably. She never asked for the sun to come out, and tease her with it's brightness. She never wished for someone like Natsu, to appear, and take interest in her. Natsu gives colour, but what can she possibly give him?





	1. Chapter 1

 

* * *

**_'We Don't Meet People By Accident, They Are Meant To Cross Our Paths For A Reason'_ **

I stared straight ahead, ignoring the group of school kids in front of me, determined to scream instead of simply speak to their friends. I would have gotten annoyed, but I had come to understand and deal with the downside of public transport.

Like, the fifty-fifty chance of climbing onto a train or bus that was either kept in good condition, or had stains of unidentifiable liquid on the seats and walls.

Luckily, I had gotten on a _fairly_ clean bus, but had the unfortunate timing of getting on just as the local schools had finished up for the day. It left little to be admired, but there wasn't much I could do about it. I had been running late on my schedule this morning and was left to catch the lunch-time special.

It was worth it though. The steam coming from the factory, gave the playground I have been stalking for the last few weeks, gave it this eerie feel and that was something I always looked for when taking pictures. After a few touch-ups, and maybe a filter added, I could add it to my end-of-year portfolio.

My professor, had been impressed enough when I handed some drafts in for critique. At the time, I had been wondering if I should change my choice of theme and style before it was too late. He had told me to stick with what I had, and show him my progress every couple of months.

I liked Professor Reedus Jonah. He didn't sugar coat things, gave compliments when needed and didn't cater to anyone's needs unless necessary. No doubt, he had read my admittance paperwork and files but unlike a few of my other professors and lecturers, he didn't constantly check in with me.

I had already decided to show him another few drafts at the end of the month, because despite feeling vaguely settled with my pictures, something was off. It was like a nagging in the pit of my stomach, and I didn't like it.

The alert tone of my phone went off and I reached into my bag, pushing past the broken pair of earphones to grab it.

**V: I got some inspirational photos of this hot guy two apartments above me. Two words. Moving Day. Yum. (Received at 3:56 pm)**

I rolled my eyes at her words, a weak smile pulling at my lips as I typed back a message.

**Legally, you can't take pictures of someone unknowingly for the use of public showcasing. It's also incredibly creepy if you keep it for your own personal gain.**

Her reply came back like lighting, so fast that my phone didn't have time to automatically lock.

**V: Tell that to my box of photos under my bed.**

I blinked, wondering if she was being honest before shaking my head at her silliness.

_Surely, she didn't have a box of photos of random men underneath her bed._

_Right?_

I shook myself out of my thoughts, and typed a short, sweet message back.

**I'm about to get off my bus. I'll see you tomorrow at Building D?**

**V: It's a date, see you then girl x**

I pocketed my phone just as the bus was turning down my street, leaning forward to hit the button with a long yawn. The little indicator light flicked on, and I collected my things, waiting until the bus has stopped movement before climbing off. The bus driver grunted his good-bye and I waved, walking the short five-minute trek to my house, were my Aunt would no doubt be lying in wait.

I kicked off my shoes before opening the door, and hanging up my coat.

"Lucy, is that you?"

"Yes, Ari." I replied, pulling out my camera from my bag as she came around the corner, raising an unimpressed eyebrow.

"Remind me again, why you insist on calling me that name?"

"I'm not going to call you 'Aunt Aquarius' because it's too long, and you aren't actually my Aunt. You just pretend to be, when Svart isn't around." I informed her, walking towards the Kitchen to grab something to eat.

"He will be home tomorrow afternoon. I'm just staying with you tonight, to make sure nothing happens."

"I'm 23, Ari. I think I can handle anything that is thrown my way."

She looked even less impressed with my words, which is a feat since the blonde haired, buxom woman basically wore apathetic as her everyday emotion. Unless her husband, Scorpio was around. Then she was in full bloom.

I never understood that, how one person could make someone so undeniably happy. But, it was probably one of the things that escaped my indifferent perspective. I was happy to coast in the grey, realising that expectations lead to heartbreak, and heartbreak lead to alcohol. And in my father's case, death.

She watched me place my bag on the counter and open the fridge in silence, before speaking up, "I made you macaroni and cheese. And I know you don't like us looking after you, but it's the promise we made and since you aren't getting any better, it's safer to have someone around."

I opened my mouth to argue that it was a waste of time – that the last thing I wanted was to burden anyone when she cut in.

"Not only on your physical, but your mental health, Lucy. If you truly wanted us to give up, you'd have sent us away by now."

I tilted my head, sighing gently as I realised she was right. As much as I rejected the idea of human company, I needed it when it came to the people that I trusted. And the ones around me, were the people I trusted the most.

Ari had been friends with my late mother, and worked in the hospital with her. I felt comfortable around her, even if the idea of being a burden and annoying my family made it hard to breath at times. I closed my eyes and nodded, agreeing with her silently.

I took a long moment to attempt to slow my heart-rate, feeling it thump away inside me. Aquarius hadn't said anything new, or _surprising,_ but my heart didn't listen. It never did.

A warm smooth hand wrapped around my wrist, lightly feeling for my pulse before her gentle voice soaked through my senses.

"How long has it been that fast?"

"Not that long. Since I got on the bus, maybe."

"Feeling dizzy, or breathless?" She asked, and I opened my eyes as she lead me to a seat, fingers still resting lightly on my wrist. She held up her other hand to check her watch as I answered quietly.

"A little, but that might have been from the walk."

"It's 120 beats per minute. Not great but not terrible either." Ari's eyebrows are pulled into a little frown, and I remain quiet, willing my heart to slow down. Of course, it didn't and the added stress made my fingers tingle and my eyesight cloudy.

"Just sit here for a few minutes, before I take you upstairs. Have you taken your medicine today?"

"Yes."

She nodded, "Do you feel like you are about to have an episode?"

Ari didn't quite understand how hard that question was to answer. When it got to this point, it was always hard to tell. It could either calm itself down or it would get worse.

"I don't know. I don't think so." I said instead, before asking, "Can you turn the blender on?"

Recognition lit up her eyes, as she walked over to the cabinets. She filled the blender with water, before turning it on. For some strange reason, loud noises made me calmer when it came to these situations. Where I felt like I was tethering on the edge of an attack. It drowned out my heart, made me think a little clearer and most of the time, calmed me.

I had only had a handful of violent attacks, but they were always incident related. Like the time, my heart had been 180 beats per minute, I had become so breathless that I had fallen forward and cracked my head against the tiled floor of my bathroom. The attack itself wasn't the scary thing – I had gotten used to the pain and heart palpitations by this point – but it was more the effects afterwards that always landed me in hospital with a concussion or a few scrapes.

The constant whirring of the blender made me sigh a little, and I focused on keeping my eyes open, fighting the dizziness. Even though, in other circumstances, loud noises gave me anxiety and it made me fidgety, this was the perfect distraction from my heart.

After a few more minutes, she turned it on, spoke a little louder, "Better?"

"Yeah. I think I can stand now."

"Good. Let's go upstairs, I'll bring your dinner up after you are in bed."

"I can walk by myself, Ari." I inform her, but resist struggling when she helps me out of the chair and towards the stairs.

"Yes, you can. But if you suddenly loose balance or become breathless, a concussion would make things worse and I don't feel like driving you to the hospital tonight." She states and I sigh, nodding in agreement. We make our way up the small flight of stairs, and into my room.

"Sorry." I mumble, as she is lifting the covers to help me into bed.

"Don't apologise. It's not your fault you have this condition." I want to argue with her, but decide to keep my thoughts zip-locked in my mind, because a fight is the last thing either of us need. Aquarius always gets _very_ protective after any sign of an episode – even more so when I do get an attack – and a fight would probably cause stress on both of us.

"I'm going to get your dinner." Once she strides out, my thoughts began to peel away the seal in my mind.

Because it _is_ my fault. I didn't used to have this condition. I was diagnosed with SVT, a relatively common case of tachycardia. It basically meant that, my heart would beat too fast suddenly. It's not passed down, it's _just_ me. There were so many causes, smoking, drinking large amounts of caffeine, drugs or my case, which was self-induced SVT because of stress or large emotional instability.

When my mother had died, I began to get small symptoms and experience light-headedness here and there. Then, my father drank himself into oblivion, passed down all his money to me in his will and went on a weekend bender with a few of his 'firm buddies'. The next week, he was found in an alley. Death by concussion they ruled, and from the bruising on his skull, it was apparent he had most likely been mugged, and when they came up empty, they had killed him.

A few years later, I was thirteen, and the men responsible were imprisoned; after a particularly lucky CTV camera caught the crime in action. I didn't bother watching it, the last memory of my father had been him kissing me on the cheek and promising me he was going to protect my future. I didn't want to ruin that.

Thirteen, technically orphaned and sitting on a fortune I had no right to accept, I had my first panic attack. Which then transgressed into an episode, and I was diagnosed. It wasn't incurable. But, it hadn't helped that the first few years I had it, I didn't have hope it would go. I thought it was someone's way of punishing me at the time, but many years in therapy had taught me that blaming it on the universe was a form of denial.

So, I blamed it on myself. If I had been stronger, if I hadn't of _fallen_ down into that darkness after losing two of the most important people to me, I'd be able to enjoy a rising heart rate without the threat of harm.

Once I told Svet, who had been my legal guardian – my only living Uncle – until I turned eighteen, how I felt. I will never forget the look of pure disbelief and sadness on his features. It had caused our first fight, so I never mentioned it again.

Ari walking back into the room shook me from my thoughts as she placed the tray with a bowl of macaroni and cheese, as well as a glass of orange juice on the side table. Realising that I was still seated in bed, instead of 'relaxing', I shifted and covered my legs with the blanket.

She placed the tray on my lap, eyeing me before speaking up, "When is your next session at Mrs Smith?"

I blew on a spoonful of macaroni and cheese, "In three days. At twelve thirty."

Aquarius nodded thoughtfully before stating, "Tell her, that the loud noises help. But, in case you are in a place where loud noise isn't allowed or any other sort of situation, you need something else. Hopefully she can help you with that, to give you some ideas to try."

I thought that was an alright idea so I agreed, scooping the food in my mouth before swallowing.

"I also have my doctor's appointment on Friday. He's going to do another ECG and maybe an electrophysiology test. Not sure which one, specifically."

"I'll ask him when I see him tomorrow. Are you feeling better?" She smiled a little when I took a large gulp of orange juice, and shrugged.

"I'm okay now. Thank-you."

Her eyes narrowed, "You kept me waiting ten minutes while you ate to get that thank-you. If you had done it sooner, I would have left."

I laughed a little, but it was a truly pitiful sound. With how dark my thoughts were getting, faking a laugh hurt my chest but I pushed past it for her sake.

* * *

After getting to college a little bit too early, I found myself strolling through the crisp Autumn weather, a cup of boiling hot chocolate in my hands. Virgo wasn't going to be here for a while and it was eerie, sitting on campus grounds with little to no people around.

I continually checked my phone, which had an app that would monitor my heart rate. Satisfyingly, it stayed under 100 beats per minute, even though I was doing a fair bit of walking. My shoes made soft crunching noises against the dry leaves, before I found the path that led me through the creative arts block, which was a little further away from the rest of the buildings since students practised with potentially distracting instruments. I passed a moulding class, watching curiously for a few seconds before moving on. When I turned the next corner, which had rooms with music halls, and aggressively sound proof studio's, a loud crash made me jump.

Someone was playing the drums, the sounds of percussion making the very ground shake beneath my feet and I found myself following the noise, the bass drum providing a mindless bravado of music, accompanying the almost hypnotic shrill of the other parts of a drum-kit. I hadn't paid attention to music when I was in High School, so it wasn't surprising I was drawing a mental blank on what everything was called. I sipped on my hot chocolate idly, following the impressive pounding.

I reached the room where it was coming from, a double-door entrance to what I could only assume was a hall of some sort, since sound-proof rooms would at least muffle the sound. I slipped inside quietly, the loud noise assaulting my hearing, but instead of wincing back, I stood at the top of the stairs; staring down at the person who was placed in the middle of the stage.

I definitely hadn't seen him before.

My eyes traced over his features slowly, from the mass of pink, almost spiky hair that rested on his head messily. I could see a glimpse of his features; his face was angled down and his eyes were closed. I silently remarked to myself, that it was impressive he was creating this beat without the help of sight. A strong jaw, crooked nose, lips pressed into a manic grin as his hands flew at impressive speed, gripping the sticks, smacking and hitting each counterpart with everything he had.

I wanted to get closer, but felt it might have been inappropriate. I wouldn't like someone watching me so closely as I took photographs. But I couldn't resist sliding into one of the seats far at the back. He hadn't noticed me, and I leaned forward, resting my cheek on my arm as I continued to watch him. The golden cymbal crashed together in a melody of pitched percussion, blending seamlessly with the hypnotising low notes, and the shaking middle ones.

I don't know how long I had been sitting there, just _listening_ but it had brought me out of my mind and my eyes began to slip closed after sometime. When I awoke, he was packing away his things, his back turned to me. I shifted a little, realising I had completely zoned out and had no idea how I managed to lose track of so much time. I felt the nagging responsibility to thank him for his help, because I hadn't felt that amount of peace in a long time.

_But, how could I?_

Chances were, he would get upset that someone crept in – someone he didn't even know- the middle of a private practice, and zoned out so much, that they missed the ending of the piece. When I tried to think back, it was an endless onslaught of _loud_. And I had loved it.

A voice cleared, pulling me from my thoughts about self-preservation and the do's and don'ts of a normal society, as a warm tone, almost as deep as the bass drum he had played so well spoke, "I have to lock up the hall when I'm done. And there's a practice starting in fifteen minutes."

I blinked, _so he had noticed I was here?_

As he crouched down, I stood up and collected my things. I wondered if my soft voice would carry in this hall, knowing I couldn't be quite as loud as he was.

_He was probably just a loud person._

"Thank-you." I spoke normally, turning towards the door, not really caring either way if he heard me or not. If he had minded my appearance, he was taking it rather well. I liked people like that. Calm, level-headed people. I wondered if the pink-haired drummer was always like that. I hoped he was, the way he played the drums, made me think of being wild and free. Having no limits, and no restrictions.

I don't know why the idea of him being as reckless as his drumming, made me a little uneasy. Like he was someone I couldn't really handle, or get a grip on. It had taken me three years to get used to Virgo, and she had been more subdued when I met her.

 _It's not like he's going to actively seek a friendship with you._ A voice bounced around in my head, the voice of reason I had come to hate but also rely on. I left the hall, checking my phone to see forty minutes had passed. I wondered if his hands hurt. Mine would. I've never played the drums, but all that vibration and clutching sticks so tightly, it would definitely leave my hands sore.

_Maybe it was like playing a guitar, the more you held down the strings, the less it impacted your skin._

I glanced down to my phone, just about to check my heart-rate when Virgo messaged me.

**V: I'm here. Where are you?**

After sending back a quick message, I pushed all thoughts of the pink haired drummer boy from my mind, but the question of what his name might be lingered in my thoughts for the rest of the day.

* * *

I was in the library, picking up some books from my selective reading list for my Ancient lit class, when a familiar voice, a lot quieter drawled beside me.

"So... Did you like the percussion?"

I startled a little, glancing over to find pink hair. It was a lot messier when it was in my face like this. I traced over his features quickly, surprised when I found a silver piercing just below his lip. It made his face more… _edgy._ He was tanned, dark green eyes stuck on me with a note of curiousness in them. My eyes trailed over the strength of his jaw, before going lower, noticing the swirling black marking that slid along the side of his neck, before disappearing underneath his black hoodie.

He was tall too, my nose would come to his collar bone, which was surprising since I hadn't though him to be very tall when I saw him before.

"Pardon?" I replied quietly, despite not really _enjoying_ talking to strangers. I guess I owed it to him, after sitting in – uninvited – on his practice.

"The percussion? Specifically, the toms. I've been struggling with the transition." He informed me and I blinked dumbly for a few seconds, wondering who Tom was and what he had to do with it.

Realising he was still waiting for a response, I admitted, "I liked it. It was mindless, and wild."

His lips twisted a little, as if fighting a grin and I found myself wondering why he cared so much for a random girl's opinion.

"Because the girl I'm asking, is pretty damn beautiful. Beautiful people have beautiful opinions."

I hadn't realised I had said my thoughts out loud, but focused on his words, tilting my head, "That's a very biased comment."

"What, that you are beautiful?"

The compliment had no effect on me and I didn't bother to hide it with a false smile of gratitude, pushing forward gently, my voice almost a murmur, "No. That beautiful people have beautiful opinions. It's an insult to less attractive people, and it's also forcing expectations on people that may have been blessed with some sort of beauty."

He openly bit back a laugh, "Not one of those 'everyone is beautiful, in some way' girls, are you?"

I shook my head, "Not necessarily. All people have one or more appealing feature about them, and the broad spectrum of beauty is ever-changing because people have different opinions. However, I think the comment you made is biased, because if 'beautiful people have beautiful opinions', then doesn't that mean _everyone_ in the world has a beautiful opinion; especially since I can look at you, and find you aesthetically pleasing, that's enough for beauty. But someone else can think you are ugly, and that's their opinion."

"Christ, that is one kind of mind." He breathed, eyes lit up with excitement as he asked, "You think I'm aesthetically pleasing?"

"Sure. For a cliché, bad-boy character in an erotic novel." I informed him truthfully, jumping when his loud booming laugh reached my ears. It sounded a bit like the way he played his drums, full of depth, and bass. I glanced around nervously, having not found my book yet and not wanting to get kicked out because I had somehow made him laugh.

I wasn't a funny person. In fact, I was called relatively bleak and ambivalent on almost every single one of my report cards in High School.

"Are you okay?" I found myself asking, against my better judgement as he rubbed his stomach a little, glancing at me with a look of unhinged amusement. I wondered if this guy was legally sane. He didn't look like it. But I wasn't one to push people in a box, and found myself just waiting for him to calm down.

He was a little breathless when he spoke next, a feeling I could understand rather well, "You got my hopes up, then threw my ego into a burning building."

I processed his words before frowning, "I insulted your ego? I apologise, I didn't think it was so fragile."

He began laughing again and my frown grew, wondering if it was considered polite to laugh at someone's genuine apology. I figured it was not, but spied my book a moment later. His shoulder was right in front of it, blocking my grasp to get it easily, and I knew contact was not a good idea – I didn't really enjoy being touched or touching other people – so I just had to wait out the storm.

"See, there you go again. You've got a sharp tongue." He tugged on his lip piercing and I found myself oddly fascinated with it. Wondering how much it hurt. It looked kind of cool, I guess.

"I do?" I echoed and he clicked his tongue as if my words proved his point even further.

"I'd love to see you rip apart my friends. Think you could do that?"

"I don't really like blood." I squirmed a little, wincing as I added an afterthought, "Or homicide."

His pink lips stretched into a thrilled grin, stretching his mouth wide so I saw white teeth and odd fang like canines. My heart stuttered vaguely in my chest, as something burst my vision, a splatter of brightness on an otherwise grey, cold world. His grin was something else, something overpowering, that left me overwhelmed in his wake.

He could have convinced me to do anything in that moment, just because of that grin. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever since my parents had died. And I had forgotten what colour looked like.

It was almost frightening, the way he looked at me. I recognised that emotion. Wonder. I didn't think I had done anything wonderful, but the expectation to do it made me begin to shrink back into my lovely shell of grey. People like him didn't befriend people like me.

Before I could completely shelter myself, his hand reached out and touched my arm very gently. I jumped, the walls crumbling entirely, as he continued to beam at me.

"What's your name?"

My tongue was heavy on my throat, as I waited for the prickly feeling of someone touching me without my permission to roll over me. His hand was warm, and rough, but it didn't send raise my hackles. It stayed on my arm, just light that I could shake it away, but there, so he could ground me to him.

I hadn't used another person as a way of keeping my head on, I liked relying on myself. Relying on other people was dangerous.

"Lucy." I whispered, feeling my heart begin to slowly speed up with how his green eyes glittered at me.

"I'm Natsu." He pulled his hand back, before stating, "I have the hall tomorrow at seven, in case you wanted to hear me play again."

_An offer?_

I blinked, a little mystified as he checked his phone, wincing in apparent pain, "Damn. I'm late. I'll see you tomorrow, Lucy!"

My name sounded funny coming from him. I didn't know if I liked it or not.

He didn't even let me reply, because Natsu was taking leaps and bounds out of the library and I was left in his wake, shaken.

My heart racing alerted me to a possible problem, and I pulled out my phone shakily. I pressed my thumb to the little touch button, and waited a full minute. The number flashed on the screen and I pulled my hand away, shocked.

My cheeks were flushed, my breathing harsh and my heart felt like it was going to race out of my chest. But the numbers were wrong.

_98 beats per minute._

_Why would I feel like my heart is racing, when it's not?_

* * *

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking each chapter should be roughly around five thousand words.
> 
> It just feels right.
> 
> Holes – Passenger. My chosen song for this whole chapter.

 

* * *

**"** **Maybe Our Girlfriends Are Our Soul-Mates, And Guys Are Just There To Have Fun With."**

"It's good Lucy." Professor Reedus stated, scanning over my most recent snaps. I stayed quiet, happy to let him examine them as he nodded to himself, handing me the photos back with a slight twist of his lips.

"Do you mind if I give you some advice?"

"Please."

"There is depth there. But, the top portfolios' almost always have a transition or slow burning change. These are all very dark, and even if it's your forte, it might be a good idea to take some shots of something that makes you happy, or in a happier setting. Try and broaden your scope, you don't want it to be repetitive, employers look for diversity." Reedus informed me, as I thought it over.

"Does it have to be happiness?"

He shook his head, "That was just an example, you can twist any emotion into a picture, if you find the right inspiration. Try looking for serenity, or even melancholy at this point. I know it will be difficult since you only capture landscapes, and never people, but I have faith you can at least try."

I pursed my lips in thought before nodding, "Okay. I'll give it a shot."

He smiled, pleased that I had listened to him, "I'd like to see them next month, is that doable?"

"It should be. Thank you, Professor Reedus." He gave me a soft pat on the back, so soft that I barely felt it but it made my skin prickle nevertheless.

"Good work Lucy, I'll see you next month." I nodded again and left, heading towards the bus-stop. It was a little past four, and I had stayed behind to show Reedus my rough drafts. I understood where he was coming from, but I already knew I'd struggle to find something that made me calm, without it lacking depth. I could take pictures of blenders, but I think that would be a little pointless.

I didn't find the conventional 'calm' things, calming. The ocean made me anxious, not knowing how to perceive its depth and the things that await me in there. The night sky used to calm me, but the stars had lost their magic when Mom died. I used to find my uncles motorbike an odd mix of exciting and calming, but with Svet getting older, and my condition being unreliable, the doctor had advised against it.

I was so deep in my thoughts I didn't hear my name being called out until a loud 'Hey!" accompanied it. I looked up, eyes widening as Natsu waved from across the small path, standing around with two guys that wore a lot of black. They peered over at me curiously and I visibly shirked up, sending Natsu a timid weak smile before continuing to walk, a little faster this time.

I made sure to keep my eyes on the gates ahead, but jumped when Natsu suddenly appeared beside me, a smile playing on his lips.

"You were totally running away from me." He accused, and I felt my mouth go dry.

"Um, no?"

He narrowed his eyes at me, but the look in those green orbs was playful. I didn't know how to take Natsu, he seemed so damn _chipper,_ despite his piercing, and tattoos. And hair, which oddly enough, was the most precarious thing about him.

"Are you sure? You didn't even come over and say hi."

"You were with friends." I played it off to the fact he had company, not the fact that I didn't exactly feel great around new people. I realised that he had stopped me from walking, and began to head towards the gate. He, surprisingly, followed.

"You never came to the hall."

I winced a little, "Yeah, sorry. I just… I didn't-"

"Hey, it's cool. If your boyfriend isn't okay with us hanging out, I can respect that."

I peered at him from the corner of my eye, "Who said I had a boyfriend?"

"Why else wouldn't you want to hang out with a rock god like me?" He blinked innocently and I unwillingly let out a small laugh, surprised at how quickly he had calmed the bundle of nerves inside of me. It was never like this before. Some people, my Uncle – in particular- could calm me down. But it never worked that fast, and not over something as small as a joke.

The first time we spoke, he made me feel like I was having an episode.

The second time, he makes me feel like I could be happy and not a shrivelling mess of anxiety.

"I see my mistake." I stated softly, before informing him courteously, "But I don't have a boyfriend."

"Yeah, I figured you didn't."

I flinched, wondering if he had seen straight through me, and knew how much my anxiety and illness controlled me.

"Why do you say that?" My voice wavered a little bit, _not good._

"Well, with that sharp tongue, I doubt any guy around here could handle you." He grinned, and the tight feeling in my chest settled a little.

"Oh."

"Yeah." He shook his head as if it was some sort of tragedy, "Honestly Lucy, don't worry about them. They are worthless. Besides, I'm sure you were just waiting for me to sweep you off your feet. That's romantic and shit, right?"

I thought it over, "I guess it could be perceived to be romantic by the typical woman. But I don't like being touched, and I certainly don't like being carried."

The minute it left my mouth, I wanted to hit myself. To cause myself bodily pain for blurting one of my issues out. Natsu was quiet for a few seconds before cursing roughly. I jumped in surprise when Natsu took a few quick steps and turned around, blocking my path.

My heart did a vague stutter, and I felt like it was beginning to pound again. His intense expression bored into my face, making my cheeks warm as I asked, "What?"

"I touched your arm last week." He stated, before sucking in a breath, eyes filled with something like regret, "I'm sorry. I should have asked before. If I had of known."

I shook my head, throat squeezing tight at his words, "It's fine. You couldn't have known."

He eyed me closely, so much so that I squirmed, a little uncomfortable.

"How can I make it up to you?"

I sighed, "You don't have too. It's not a big deal." Not like I was going to tell him that I hadn't minded his warm touch, because it kind of defeats the purpose of personal preservation.

"I'd like to. What do you do for fun?"

His question startled me, and I frowned, "I don't… I take pictures, I guess." He eyed the camera around my neck, and smiled a little.

"I'd like to hear more." He stated, "Are you busy now? We can go get some food."

I bit my lip, "Look, I get that you are trying to be nice but…" The words caught in my throat, and I closed my eyes, continuing weakly, "It'd be a waste of time."

"Why do you say that?"

I breathed out harshly at the tone of curiosity in his voice.

"It takes a long time for me to get comfortable with someone. I've got some things I'm dealing with and it causes some problems within my social life and potential friends."

When I opened my eyes, he was looking at the concrete in thought, and I took that as the universal message of _'go away'_ so I walked around him and headed towards the gate. Social confrontation was never my strong suit, and the way he hadn't replied to what I said, even to tell me that he understood, sort of hurt. Luckily, I had perfected the art of acting ambivalent in the face of judgement, so I locked my tear ducts down.

The act to keep yourself from crying was a lot more difficult than people made it out to be. Aquarius had told me time, and time again, that crying stimulates endorphins, and it's a natural reaction you should never keep in. It didn't stop me from trying, though.

Natsu appeared in front of me again, which made me jump in surprise.

He wore a grin, "Well, okay. Then, I'll just have to be around enough for you to get comfortable with me."

I blinked, opening my mouth to say _something_ before stopping. I just, stared at him for a bit, wondering what his _deal_ was.

_Why would he bother me with me?_

"You don't have to do that." I finally managed to say something, and Natsu just kept grinning at me. It made my skin tingle, and my heart race inside my chest.

"I want too. You seem like a cool person."

"I'm not." I blurt and he raises an eyebrow, as I continued firmly, "I'm actually a bundle of mess, when you look at me. Becoming my friend isn't _fun._ I don't find other peoples' interests personally stimulating so most people act like I'm a bitch because of it."

If anything, my words made him smile wider. It freaked me out a little. I kept my face purposely blank, unsure if I could really show how befuddled I was.

"You're honest. I like people that are honest."

"I just don't see the point of lying. It's exhausting." I told him quietly, my eyebrows furrowing in thought as he nodded, before smiling at me cheekily.

"So, if you can't hang out with me now, what days are you here during the week?"

I pinched my lips together, wondering if I could just tell him no and be done with it. Not that I didn't want a new friend – maybe that was half the reason – but I just didn't want to get my hopes up. I didn't want to start an effort when the result was almost always the same.

Natsu, seemingly watching my reaction, smiled wider, as if I was doing something _incredibly_ amusing.

"Alright, so your schedule is also out of bounds, for now." The ominous 'for now' made me want to shrivel up into a small ball and pick apart my psyche. Which was never fun, and I should really stop _that._

"Sorry."

"I'm not going to force you out of your comfort zone." He grinned, "Chill out. I'll think of something…" He snapped his fingers a moment later, a metaphorical light bulb flashing on, above his head, "What's your favourite snack?"

I thought about it, before admitting, "Fruit, I guess."

"No. I'm talking unhealthy. Potato chips, cheese puffs, stuff like that."

I frowned, squirming a little, "I don't really… snack."

His eyes raked over my body and he tilted his head, as if suddenly realising something. Luckily for him, the one thing I wasn't worried about, was my personal looks. I didn't think I was anything special, but I didn't particularly care anyway.

"You are obviously fit. But, not even chocolate on a bad day?"

"It's tastes too… artificial. And I don't like the aftertaste." I shrugged a little, as he cocked his head in the other direction. He reminded me scarcely of a dog, the way he greedily absorbed information. I didn't voice my thoughts, somehow knowing that calling a person a dog – despite loving dogs, myself – wasn't exactly a compliment.

"So, you like fruity things?" He guessed and I frowned.

"No. I like fruit. Apples, peaches, occasionally I have a slice of pineapple for breakfast or a mango." I told him, before mumbling, "But I don't like the texture of mangoes. It's like moist paste. Not exactly pleasing, but the taste is nice."

I hadn't realised I had rambled on, until I heard his soft chuckle. I winced, "Sorry."

"Don't apologise. I want to know more about you, so keep talking. Where are, you going now?"

"To the bus-stop."

"Well, I'm guessing that driving you home is level five friendship at least, but can I walk you there?"

I thought about it briefly before asking, "Are you going to dote and watch me get on the bus?"

"I'm not the 'doting' sort, but I was planning to hang around until your bus came."

"I'd rather you not. I've read a lot of books, and the bad-boy always gets into some sort of trouble. I'd like to avoid that."

I jumped when he laughed, his smile momentarily taking my breath away. His laughter was just how I remembered it, like drums. Loud, rambunctious and full of bass. I wondered if I'd ever not be shocked at how his laugh sounded, in comparison to his deep, almost smooth voice. Natsu had a drawl, I had discovered during our last conversation, and solidified during this one.

A wild, sudden urge filled me to _try_ to act friendly to him. Although, it wasn't a big difference from my usual attitude, Virgo had said that I could be sweet to her at the strangest of times.

I waited patiently for him to stop laughing, and waited some more as he grinned at me, "You do that a lot, don't you?"

My purpose was momentarily forgotten, "Do what?"

He shook his head, a wildly amused grin on his lips, "Nothing."

I nodded, satisfied with his answer before stating slowly, "You have a nice voice."

His grin fell into something of bemused shock. I kept my eyes on his, despite the overwhelming _need_ to back away or retreat my statement. I watched the lump in his throat bobbed before focusing on what he was saying.

"You… Thank you. Do you normally compliment people's voices?"

"Not really." I told him, beginning to walk towards the gates _once again._ This time, I hoped I wouldn't be stopped. He fell in step beside me, and I was momentarily pleased that he kept a safe, respectable distance.

"Why did you compliment mine, then?"

I gave him a puzzled look, "Because it's the truth…?"

A smile twitched at his lips, "Damn. You are tricky. We are going to be great friends, I can tell."

"If you say so…" I said, my voice dripping with uncertainty. His lips twitched again, no longer fighting that smile as we neared the gates. The bus-stop was only a five-minute walk from the car-park outside the gates, and I suddenly wondered if I had taken him away from more important duties.

I didn't bother asking him, because I hadn't _made_ him come say hi. He came over to me on his volition. The walk was quiet, not exactly awkward but not settled. Virgo and I had mastered silence, only talking and discussing topics the other would be interested in. This was a new person, and I felt slightly pressured to behave differently.

I didn't like pressure.

A loud beeping drew my attention and I stopped walking, digging through my bag to grab my tablets and water bottle. My phone continued to beep obnoxiously, and I stopped it once I had the container in my hands. I turned to Natsu, and asked quietly, "Can you hold this?"

I offered the water bottle and he took it without hesitation, settling to watch me as I took out two tablets, twisted the lid back on and slipped it into my bag. He handed me the water bottle back and I continued walking, swallowing the tablets easily.

I chased them with water before throwing the now empty water bottle in the bin as we passed. He continued to watch me, pull out my phone once again and check off my prescription list.

If he wanted to ask something about the tablets, he didn't, showing me he had the polite sense to _not_ be a curious bastard.

"So, fruit-wise. You don't like fruit tasting candy?"

"It might say fruit tasting, but it's mostly just artificial flavouring and sugar. It lines your insides and _rots._ " I told him bluntly, screwing my nose up at the thought.

"How about cake?"

I shrugged a little, "I'm not personally a big fan of it. I like it on Birthdays. That's about it."

He rubbed his jaw in thought and I was momentarily distracted by his lip piercing that glinted in the afternoon sun. I also noticed the black line of studs crawling up his ear. Two in his lobe, two in his cartilage. I liked even numbers, so that pleased me.

 _Did Natsu like even numbers_?

I filed that question away to ask him at a later date, when I worked up the courage to actually start a conversation.

"How about tarts?"

"Tarts?" I brewed over the word, before humming softly, "I've never had a tart before, I don't think."

"Seriously? Custards tarts are the best! Especially with the cinnamon on the top."

Since I liked cinnamon as a spice, I couldn't help but wonder if I would like custard tarts.

"Maybe I should give them a try…" I mumbled out-loud.

Natsu beamed at me, "Are you here tomorrow?"

I shook my head silently, noticing how close the bus-stop was. He stopped and I stopped with him, pleased he was going to accept my conditions and go before the bus came.

"When are you back?"

"Thursday." I informed him softly, that prickly uncomfortable sensation crawling up my neck.

"I'll find you Thursday and introduce you to the tart-life." I raised my eyebrow at his words, before stating meekly.

"If it's it not too much trouble…"

He chuckled, the noise husky compared to his laugh, "No trouble at all. Promise me you won't have a tart until I give you one first?"

I bit my lip for a moment, "That's sort of an absurd thing to make me promise about."

"Is a promise too much for you? How about a blood-oath?"

"Perhaps an agreement, is more my speed. I like blood inside my body, as opposed to outside it." I told him, before saying with a nod, "I agree that I won't have a tart until you give me one first."

"Good enough for me." Natsu grinned, and I felt my heart flutter.

* * *

"So, tell me about this Natsu. What does he look like?" Mrs Smith asked, as I frowned.

"He's… strange-looking. Pink hair. A lip piercing. Really green eyes. They almost look cat-like."

"Is there anything else that particularly stands out to you when you have talked?"

I thought about it for a few seconds before admitting, "He's tall. At least a head taller than me. His hands are… nice."

"What makes them nice?"

I shrugged, beginning to feel a little uncomfortable about her questions. It felt like we were dissecting Natsu's looks, and I hadn't realised just how much I had taken notice of his physical appearance.

"I'm not sure," I bit my lip, wondering why the first thing that came to my head about Natsu's hands, was nice. If there wasn't any theory as to why they were 'nice' then why would I call them that?

As if sensing my distress, Mrs Smith leaned back and typed something on her iPad, giving me a few seconds to calm myself. I focused on the loud, almost obnoxious rhythmic ticking of the clock on the far wall.

"Do you understand why I'm talking about Natsu, Lucy?"

I shook my head, and she smiled calmly, "You don't let people attach themselves to you easily, it took you over two years to agree that Virgo was a close friend. Since then, you've continued to keep people at a distant length. I want to talk about Natsu, to help you become comfortable with the idea of him being around."

It vaguely made sense, but it left me with a question I wasn't sure I wanted to ask.

But I did anyway, because Mrs Smith's job was to assess and help my mental state. How was she supposed to help if I didn't share?

"But, what if he leaves? Or gives up?" _Like everyone else has_ , I added silently and Mrs Smith nodded understandingly, addressing my anxiety like she always did. With a cool attitude, and wise words that calmed me down.

"I know it makes you uncomfortable Lucy, to have someone leave you after getting to know you. It's human instinct to want to make connections, and you forge strong ones with the people that truly care. But, I think this will be a good experience for you. Sometimes, risks reap rewards."

"Risks require faith, and I don't have faith Natsu will want to stick around."

"Well, currently, he isn't asking anything of you. Just your company." She informed me, and I nodded slowly, trying to follow her silent train of thought; even though she would probably explain in a few seconds. I tried to figure people out before they spoke, sometimes, to understand them before they told me. The more I knew about the person, the easier it was.

"Then, I have an assignment for this week." I perked up, liking the idea of _work._ It calmed me down, made me less agitated. Filling my brain with tasks, and a schedule kept me grounded, and my anxiety at lower levels. Of course, certain things could make them peak, but if I had something to do afterwards, something _important,_ I could normally control it.

To the best of my ability, at least.

"What is it?"

"Let Natsu seek your company. You don't have to force yourself to make conversation, but don't send him away. You didn't ask for his interest, but, he does have some in you. From what you've told me, it wouldn't hurt to _try_ and just use him."

"Use him? I repeated dumbly, confused and she smiled, nodding along as if I was asking the right questions.

"Let him be there. He can be a sound-board for any of the thoughts you want to share. He can be another body, or just white noise to calm you down. Virgo started out like that, and you managed to progress into a healthy friend-ship."

I didn't quite like the thought of using Natsu, despite the intentions of Mrs Smith. I knew she wanted to help, but using Natsu as white noise felt wrong in my stomach. I didn't share that with her, instead looking down for a moment before nodding.

"I can try."

* * *

Ari stood to the side as Doctor Brown helped me onto the hospital bed, asking me to remove my top as she did so. I did it numbly, just wearing a bra and a pair of cotton shorts. After the long wait in the clinic, I was finally getting an ECG, despite the use of one being incomprehensible to me.

We had already discovered my diagnosis, so why were fortnightly ECG's needed?

Aquarius had told me it was to monitor, and assess my heartbeat. Also, to keep an eye on the ventricle causing the problem and making sure no other complications could arise. Doctor Smith glanced at my file briefly, before asking, "Is the medication for your anxiety affecting you in anyway?"

"It keeps me calm, most of the time, but it doesn't affect my heart."

She nodded, scribbling down a note in my file, "Have you needed to use the Adenosine I prescribed to stop an attack?"

I glanced at Ari who shook her head, "Not since last time we were here."

"Good. So, your coping mechanisms are working so far?"

I liked Doctor Brown. She was all professional, and just _smart._ Her intelligence and efficiency calmed me down greatly, and the fact she had known me since I was diagnosed, really helped.

"Yes. Although, the cold water doesn't do the trick anymore." I used to be able to hold my hands in ice-cold water to calm my racing heart, but lately, the only thing that really did the trick was loud noises. Drowning noises. Like Natsu banging on his drum-kit, or the blenders.

"Some people are different." She told me, placing the file at the clip on the end of the bed, tucking her pen away in her white coat. She continued after she cleared her throat, "Even though there is no known link to the brain and an attack of tachycardia, the sensation of loud noises isn't a surprising mechanism. The vibrations alone, are enough to help."

I pursed my lips, remembering that even though my own emotional upset had caused this illness, it was way past fixing with some thoughts. I still remembered the first-time Doctor Brown had explained it to me.

_"_ _Your heart is full of veins, and has two ventricles. These are very important. They are tubes, and when your heart beats, it's get this electrical pulse that squeezes the ventricles and makes the veins send blood to every part of your body. One of your ventricle, or tubes, has a slight hiccup in it. So, when your heart gets this pulse, it can cause odd reactions. Like making your heart beat faster than what is the right speed."_

Of course, know I knew she had _dumbed_ it down greatly. There wasn't a hiccup. It had something to do with the SA node and the AV node. I understood a little, most of it getting lost in the _"mumbo jumbo"_ of doctor talk, but Aquarius had explained it enough times for me to pick up on it. Normal hearts were controlled by the SA node, which was the normal timer of the heart.

Instead, the AV node, which was the equivalent of a jump-starter, sends the electrical pulses in the heart, and made everything pulsate, and the ventricles to squeeze and pump blood. An attack usually had no reason to happen, it came suddenly, because the SA node didn't immediately calm it down, like it was supposed to.

Or _something like that._

"I have a few more patients to check up on. A nurse will be in shortly to record your ECG results."

"Okay, thank you." I nodded, sort of glad I wasn't going to hold her up any more and she left. Ari almost immediately grumbled.

"I'm a _nurse._ Why can't I do it?"

"The hospital has a strict 'no family' policy." I reminded her, even though she wasn't _technically blood related._ The hospital knew well enough, that she wasn't allowed to perform any sort of tests on me.

Aquarius continued to grumble, even when the polite young nurse came in to attach the electrodes to my chest and thighs.

* * *

I was seated with Virgo, talking about her incapability to make an edible cake, when Natsu approached us. His hair was pushed down by a grey beanie, probably due to the cold weather that nipped at my nose and tinged my cheeks with pink. I eyed the scarf around his neck, deeming this weather suitable for such an accessory, but wondered why he also wore it on warmer days.

Perhaps he got chilly often.

Remembering his naturally warm touch, I doubted it.

Virgo, oblivious to all things Natsu, continued her wildly rampant speech about the conspiracy against her. Apparently, all the recipes she found, had it _out_ for her. I doubted it greatly, but Virgo's rants always managed to calm me and I liked listening to her voice.

She only silenced, when Natsu spoke, now standing right in front of my seat on the park bench just outside block A.

"Good morning Lucy."

"Morning." I replied quietly, glancing at Virgo who was currently sizing Natsu up with her eyes, a dangerous look about them. I ignored her in favour of noticing the paper bag Natsu held in one hand, balancing delicately on his palm.

He noticed my stare – either ignoring or oblivious to Virgo – and grinned, "I didn't forget. One custard tart, fresh made for you."

"You made it?"

"I _bought_ it. But the people at the bakery refused to put your name on the top for added flair." He told me, offering the treat towards me. I took it hesitantly, momentarily remembering my agreement to the assignment Mrs Smith had given me.

_Don't send him away._

Every nerve in my body wanted to dismiss him politely, knowing the riveting conversation with Virgo would suffer if I invited him, but instead, I nodded and offered gently.

"If you don't have anywhere else to be, you can sit with us."

Virgo's head snapped towards me in blatant shock, making me slightly uncomfortable under her pinning stare. Natsu's grin only widened.

"I actually have class in a few minutes, but wanted to give that to you before I went in." He informed me, and I almost breathed a sigh of relief, struggling to keep eye-contact with those deep green orbs of his. They reminded me, vaguely, of a forest; dark, rich and full of wild things.

"Okay."

"But thanks for the invitation. Is it extendable?"

"If you'd like it to be." I edged around a proper reply, not feeling comfortable to confirm his question entirely. Not exactly _pushing_ him away, but not _pulling_ him towards me. I still didn't feel right about using Natsu for his company, and my mental health.

I didn't feel right about using _anyone._

"Considering we are going to be best-friends, I'd like it to be. I'll catch up with you later." I noticed something about his phrasing, and wondered if he was doing it on purpose. It was almost like he wanted me to know, _he would_ catch up with me later. It wasn't an aloof good-bye, or even a fond farewell.

It was a promise.

The words made my skin flush a little, and I knew that it wasn't because of the cold. Natsu was just an _odd_ specimen of human, that made me a little… _perplexed._

I simply nodded and he deemed it acceptable, and walked away, heading towards the building with his hands in his pockets. As soon as he left, I opened the paper bag to peer at the treat he had gotten me, squinting at the almost jelly-like substance.

_Custard wasn't usually so… wobbly._

_Was it?_

I was about to ask Virgo that question, but she had more important things on her mind.

"What is he talking about, 'best friends'. You already, _have_ a best friend. She's very attractive, and funny. And she's known you for years."

"He wants to attempt to get to know me." I dutifully informed her, continuing to stare at the treat with mild discomfort. I didn't think I was going to like it, but it seemed impolite to just _throw_ it away. Perhaps Virgo would like it.

"I don't like him. He's trying to woo you with treats, and handsome smiles."

"He usually grins."

"And _you take notice?_ " She gasped, eyes wide with outrage and I shrugged a little, focusing my attention on her for the time-being as she eyed the door he went through to enter the building.

"I'm going to be watching that guy, _carefully._ "

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few hours late (sorry about that) but it's finally out.
> 
> The response I received from the first chapter was overwhelming; you guys are fantastic, seriously.
> 
> If you are interested in joining my Skype chat-room, let me know.
> 
> Reviewing is encouraged and welcomed, I'd love to read what you guys think of the chapter (:
> 
> I feel a bit more subdued in this authors note... I wonder why...
> 
> Anyway, as always guys,
> 
> keep it fresh and clean!
> 
> xo freshprincess


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This will be a slow-burning book, but not in the way you think ;)
> 
> Naïve: The Kooks – my inspiration for this chapter.

 

* * *

**"There Is A Difference Between Who We Love, Who We Settle With and Who We Are Meant For."**

Virgo leaned back with a sigh of relief, soaking up the unseasonably warm sun, eyes closed with a happy little smile on her face. Natsu sat on the grass floor in front of our park-bench, juggling a hacky-sack on his fingers, throwing it around mindlessly, grunting a little when it hit the floor due to him missing the chance to keep it up.

It had been three weeks since Natsu had begun his quest to find a suitable snack-food that was 'unhealthy' but delicious to my taste buds. He had tried an array of sweets, stubbornly refusing to admit defeat, and Virgo who had been annoyed at his 'infiltration' soon became happily sated when he started to bring her a brownie as well.

When we were alone after one of their enthusiastic chats about the local sports team – _go salamanders? –_ I had reiterated the point she had made before when it came to Natsu and how he was trying to bribe _me_ with treats. It was a little amusing that she fell into the very trap she had called when she first saw Natsu.

She argued with the highly illogical statement; "It doesn't count if he's giving _me_ treats. I'm different."

I could agree with the last sentence, but the point was still moot. I let it slide, enjoying Virgo's saucy commentary, and Natsu's cheeky one-liners. They made good… company. Mrs Smith was delighted I had kept Natsu around this long, and even though, I still _hated_ the fact I was basically using him, I slowly felt like seeing him every morning – every morning I attended college at least - was becoming a part of my routine.

His grunt of disapproval made me look away from my task of sorting through the photos on my laptop, to find him glaring at the small object in disappointment. I wondered if he was really upset about failing to keep the object from hitting the floor, or he was projecting.

Of course, the only reason why I assumed he was projecting in the first place, was because _I_ projected.

The smart, calm voice of Mrs Smith filled my head, _"Don't assume other people deal with their thoughts and emotions like you do. Everyone is different._ "

"I enjoy that phrase." I said suddenly, looking to Virgo who popped one eye open to stare at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What phrase?"

"The one about assumptions." I could feel Natsu watching us – something he did often – as Virgo smiled, nodding in agreement.

"Don't assume. It makes an ass out of you and me."

"It's a good rule to go by. So many people mess up important things with the power of assumption." I briefly played around with the thoughts of any other one-liners that applied in everyday life. Dad had a whole plethora of them, that he would repeat over and over when he was alive. I couldn't remember much of them now.

A dull throb in my chest made me close my eyes and I took a deep breath in, as Virgo's saucy remark made me smile a little, "So many people mess up in _general._ It's not going to stop if we take away the power of assuming things."

When I opened my eyes, I found Natsu gazing at us with an amused smirk, settling back to listen. I felt my cheeks begin to warm and looked towards the sun a little, as if I could blame the sudden blush on the heat. Virgo took my silence as a means to continue into deeper, sci-fi territory.

"I mean, that's why I think we should start putting government chips into everyone we don't like. Take away their ability to do stupid things."

"Virgo, we don't like _anyone._ "

She cackled gleefully, "Exactly! It'll just be you and me. Maybe Natsu, if he doesn't bother us too much."

Natsu spoke up with a playful tone, "Thanks for the consideration." He balanced the ball of plastic beads on one finger and Virgo jumped forward suddenly, the movement causing my laptop to almost fall from my lap.

"Don't move!" Natsu froze at her command, looking up at her confusedly as she turned to me, "Can I borrow your camera?"

I nodded quietly, also curious about what she was doing. We both watched her, Natsu continuing to balance the ball as she turned my camera on and leaned in to take a shot. I tilted my head at her, not really understanding what was so fascinating about Natsu's fingers at that moment, but Virgo saw the beauty in humans. Something that I could never really grasp when it came to taking photographs.

She snapped a few pictures, leaning back to view them as Natsu shrugged and began throwing the hacky-sack around again, slapping it up in the air easily. Virgo settled back beside me, showing me the pictures and I nodded silently, before Virgo stated, "Natsu's got a funny look about him."

"How so?"

We both ignored the presence of Natsu who was struggling to pay attention to us and the game at the same time.

Virgo gestured to his body, "He's your usual yummy bad-boy deluxe, with a side order of a suspiciously good attitude. If a little cocky at times, but that's fixable."

"It _is_ suspicious." I agreed, "I don't mean to judge a book by its cover, but Natsu at first glance, looks like a bad boy. But he doesn't act like it."

"It's my style." Natsu grumbled but Virgo pushed on, undeterred by his words.

"Pushing away his attitude for a moment, he's got the muscles, the eyes, the piercing and _tats…_ But if you look closely." We both turned to him and I studied his bemused expression. His pink hair was wildly tousled today, as if he never heard of a brush and his tanned skin worked well against the burst of colour. His eyes were a deep, almost hypnotising green, natural short eyelashes framing them. His jaw was strong, cheekbones the correct height of _attractive_ meets _dangerous._

Then I noticed it. I leaned forward, tilting my head before stating, "Huh."

"You see it too!" Virgo cried out, joyful that I had also noticed the _oddity._

"See what?" Natsu let the hacky-sack hit the floor on purpose now, turning his attention to us as I mused.

"You've got a soft mouth."

_I couldn't believe I hadn't realised it before. The amount of times I found myself glancing at Natsu's lip-piercing, I must have completely missed it._

"What does that mean?" Natsu frowned, his pink lips turning into a confused pout as Virgo smiled calmly.

"You've got a delicate, feminine mouth." She informed him and I nodded, agreeing with her.

Natsu shook his head, looking a little bewildered now as I tried to comfort him, "It's a nice mouth… Gentle and sort of plush."

His mouth popped open in shock, as Virgo chortled a little, "Sort of like a flower."

Natsu's mouth slowly closed and a little grin tugged at his pink lips.

"Shut up."

Virgo ignored him, instead subjecting me to a conspiracy theory, "Do you think he got that piercing to distract people from his wildly erotic-star lips?"

I thought about it before admitting sheepishly, "That's actually very possible."

By this point, Natsu was laughing and I felt it sweep over me. Something inside my chest settled at the sound of his laugh, all deep and warm. I closed my eyes with a little sigh before Virgo's laugh joined his, and I made myself open them again.

I wondered if Natsu realised how nice his laugh was.

They settled into a comfortable silence, but a question had been burning through my mind for the last week and it left my lips gently, as if some part of me was afraid of how he would react.

"Can you tell me something about you?"

Virgo looked over to me, surprised and Natsu caught the hacky-sack, raising his eyebrow, "About me?"

"Yes." I squirmed a little, before stating quietly, "You've been hanging around for a few weeks and I don't know anything about you, besides you play the drums and like sweets."

"Come on Natsu, tell us something about yourself!" Virgo cackled, but I realised that she was helping me along. She probably noticed how uncomfortable I was and being the 'best friend', had come to my rescue and joined the team.

Natsu leaned back a little, using one hand to support his weight while shovelling the other through his hair. Virgo nudged me gently with her shoulder, a silent praise because it had taken me longer to accept Virgo. She knew I was trying, attempting to make a friend after keeping everyone so far away from me.

Natsu suddenly grinned and stated, "I got it. I first dyed my hair pink to try and trick my father into thinking I was gay. I was 17 at the time, and spent most of my valuable time antagonising the shit out of him." Natsu informed us both, pausing for dramatic effect, "But when I came home, he just told me it looked pretty good. Then offered to pay me fifty dollars per month if I kept it that way."

A socially acceptable crept onto my lips, "It looks like your plan back-fired."

He laughed, "Yeah. There's a silver lining though. I'm 21 now, and haven't changed my hair since. I've saved roughly around two thousand dollars."

Virgo cackled wildly, "He kept paying you?"

"He still is." Natsu confirmed with a smug grin and I watched as he tugged on his piercing lightly, before shaking my head and musing.

"Well he was right, at least. You oddly suit pink hair."

"It's your favourite colour, so of course you think that." Virgo teased, before checking the time on her phone. She jumped off the bench with a groan, "I've got a lecture. Message me tonight about plans for tomorrow?"

I nodded, accepting the small hug she offered as she collected her things and started to head off, not before roughly shoving Natsu with her foot. He simply laughed and watched her go.

Then he turned back to me, "I wanted to get some practice in. The hall should be empty by now."

Although he didn't offer, I felt like he was leaving an inch open just in case I wanted to listen to him. And I did. It had been five weeks since I had snuck into the hall and listened to him play, and since then, I hadn't gone back. I wasn't sure why I felt the need to avoid it, but Dr Smith had suggested it was because I didn't want something else to become a coping mechanism for my tachycardia.

I closed my laptop and murmured, "Can I come?"

He grinned, nodding, "Sure." We packed up our things and walked side by side, towards the block where his hall was located. The silence was easy enough, despite the uncomfortable prickling sensation of anxiety pinching at my skin, making me fidget a little.

If he noticed, he didn't say anything, instead sweeping ahead to hold the door open for me. I smiled a little at his chivalry, before he stated, "Make yourself comfortable, I've got to go get my kit."

"Okay." I hummed softly, heading towards the middle rows with a small yawn. I sat on the chairs, a lot closer than I had been before and relaxed. Another yawn made me stretch a little, and I pulled out my phone to tinker with it as I waited for Natsu.

He appeared at the top of the stairs, carrying three large black bags and a medium sized case. He walked oddly down the stairs and I watched him for a few seconds before asking hesitantly, "Do you need help?" I had found out from observing other people, that men don't particularly like asking for assistance, or even admitting it. Whilst I found this petty and a little strange, I wouldn't judge Natsu if he followed their example.

Instead of shooting my offer down, he just passed me the smallest bag with an easy smile, "Yeah. It's not too heavy, is it?"

I shook my head, delicately following him towards the stage as he _hobbled_ his way up and placed everything down carefully. He crouched down to accept the bag from me and I leaned against the cage curiously, watching as he began to unload everything.

"What's in the case?"

"The body." He replied, and I almost laughed. He seemed to notice that, and just smirked wickedly, before admitting, "It's the bass drum and the toms. They sort of go hand in hand. Along with the kick-pedal and some hardware."

I blinked, "Why would you need hardware?" He stopped fiddling with the cases lock, and sat down near me, shrugging a little.

"My drumming teacher in elementary school, Gildarts, always told me that to be a proper drummer, you have to get used to taking your kit apart and putting it back together. So, every time I used to want to play, he'd teach me how to do that." I leaned closer, tilting my head at him as he grinned, "Now I just do it as a habit. It's sort of like… Is there anything you do before you take a picture? Something that calms you down or gets you ready?"

I hummed softly, thinking it over, before stating quietly, "When I'm out and about, I normally sit down and stretch my legs whilst listening to the same song repeatedly. It kind of keeps my mind quiet for long enough to appreciate the beauty in what I capture."

"Yeah." Natsu breathe, and I found myself staring into his green eyes, unwillingly to look away, "That's sort of what this is like for me. It warms up my fingers and shuts my head up."

"Does it take long?" I wondered and he rubbed the back of his neck a little, clearly a bit embarrassed.

"When I started doing it, it took me two hours. But, now I can do it in just under twenty minutes."

I nodded slowly, finding that rather impressive but I guess, repetition breeds capability and speed. He turned away, sensing my questions were over for the time being, and I leaned against the stage, resting my head in my palm. He pulled out a screwdriver, and a small plastic box of screws, with tiny individual pockets for the difference sorts.

Whilst he put it together, he spoke to me about what the different parts of the kit was. I now realised that the 'Toms' he spoke of before, were actually the two circular drums that he had pulled from the chest. He explained how he used a snare stand to hold each tom, so it was easier to position them towards himself instead of screwing them into place on top of the bass drum.

Once they were put up and situated to his liking, he pulled out the snare and tapped on it, the noise slightly sharp to my ears as he explained that when you hit it a certain way, it could sound like a powerful scream, or a thundering crack.

When he pulled the biggest drum out, grunting a little with effort, I asked him what it was called since I had assumed it was a just a 'bass drum'.

He placed it down, walking back over to the crate to grab the pedal for it, "It's a type of bass drum. But it's actually called a kick-drum since it's in the kit."

Then he began explaining how the tension could be adjusted using the threaded taps and how the heads, had to always be vertical especially when transporting or mounting them.

"I think it's my favourite drum." I informed him as he set it up, glancing over the rim with a curious look.

"Why is it your favourite?"

"I don't know. I like how it sounds. It's steady." _Like a heartbeat,_ I didn't bother to add, watching as he glanced at it thoughtfully before waving towards himself.

"Come on up and give it a try."

I opened my mouth to reject the offer immediately, certainly not feeling comfortable with the idea of touching Natsu's drums. It brought the sensation of slime, as if I had no right to touch something he obviously cared about. He walked over to me with a small grin, "It won't bite you. Come on."

"I really don't think-" My words dried up in my throat at the way he was looking at me. His grin was as wild, and carefree as ever, his piercing glinting in the lighting of the hall, but his eyes held some sort of softness. Like, he wanted to say something but didn't.

 _Couldn't_.

I closed my mouth with a grimace, "Promise you won't laugh?"

"The first time I played the drums, Gildarts smacked me on the forehead with a cymbal." He informed me, and I gasped, horrified. Then he smirked, a dangerous glint in his eyes, "Of course, that was after, I had thrown my sticks at the back of his head and called him an 'old shit'."

I sighed, not really surprised that the attack had a reason behind it. He chuckled a little at the look on my face, and I shook my head, "You better not laugh."

"I'm not even laughing now." He stated, clearly still laughing at me and I huffed a little, heading towards the stairs. When I got up on the stage, I rubbed my arms a little, not liking the slimy feeling that crawled over my skin, despite the areas I touched being dry. I nibbled on my bottom lip, watching as he set up a stool, and then the golden cymbal.

I noticed another bag that hadn't been unpacked yet and asked, "Am I disrupting your practice time?"

"No." He immediately rejected the very idea, "I've got this place until the college closes for the day. Plus, I'm about to show you what it's like to hit a drum."

"What if I break it?"

He breathed out a laugh, "That might be either the sexiest, or the most frightening thing I've ever witnessed then."

I frowned, confused as he tapped on the kick-drum, sending me a wicked smirk, "It's plastic. Tightly pulled plastic, that has survived me kicking it too many times to count."

"Oh." I licked my lips, creeping closer curiously as he set up the tall cymbal, "Is this the whole set up?"

Natsu shook his head, fingers easily fiddling and adjusting all sorts of things, "There's a standing tommy in the closet that I sometimes use. It's the College's, not mine. A pain in the ass to transport and store here, so I leave my own at home. In the bag, there's also a hi-hat. I don't need the standing tommy for what I was going to try out, but the hi-hat will give it some great percussion. Hopefully."

"I'm sure it will," I stated, before adding, "And if it doesn't, I'm way too nice to say it to your face."

"You like to play with a weak man's ego, don't you?"

I blinked, before shaking my head, "Of course not. I tend to stay away from weak men. They whine an awful lot." He laughed at this, before standing up, dusting off his pants before giving me an amused look. I watched him walk over to the little black bag, rummaging through it, his back turned to me.

"I figured you stayed away from _all_ men."

I hummed, thinking about that for a few seconds before stating truthfully, unaware of how bad it sounded until it left my mouth.

"I haven't stayed away from you."

My heart squeezed painfully inside my chest, and I blinked, the noticeable silence almost making me go insane. On the bright side, the slimy feeling was gone. On the darker, more humiliating side, I had said _that_ out loud and now I was on the verge of hyperventilating.

Natsu was so quiet, his movements completely stopped before murmuring so lowly, that I assumed he thought I couldn't hear, but I did.

"I was happy to stay in the friend-zone, but dammit, how am I supposed to react to that?"

The words were so ridiculous, so randomly placed that the smallest noise left my mouth. He turned around, eyeing me as I placed a hand against my mouth, stifling my small giggle in surprise. I spun away swiftly, amazed that I was even _giggling_ in the first place. It wasn't like I hated laughing, I loved it. But I hadn't laughed truthfully for so long, and it almost as foreign as the concept of _actually_ smiling was to me.

"Hey. If you are going to laugh at me, then at least have the decency to let me see." I heard him whine just as I was trying to compose myself, and a smile began to twitch at my lips. This was different from the smiles, or the laughs I had given him before. They were almost always forced, or a means to acknowledge a funny comment. They didn't leave me warm, and my stomach fluttery.

It took me a few more seconds but when I turned back, I offered him a small timid smile, "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you with that comment."

His dark eyes watched me closely before he simply grinned back and waved off my apology, "No harm done. Alright then, sit down." He patted the small stool, and I made my away over to it, wondering if my ass could even sit comfortable on that round circle.

_Would Natsu's ass even fit comfortably?_

I sat down, satisfied when it didn't creak or groan at my weight as Natsu stated, "Normally, you'd adjust the seat and the height to your liking, but since you aren't pumping out a drum solo, I think we can skip that. Okay?" His warm breath brushed my skin and I battle against a shiver, twisting my hands in my lap with a small nod.

He crouched down beside me, "Did you want some earplugs?"

"Will I need them?"

His face turned thoughtful, "Well, depends on how hard you are going to try and kick it. Of course, the sound will be nothing compared to a whole set of drums, but it might be a little loud."

"I won't kick it too hard then." I pursed my lips, pressing my foot to the pedal and he laughed.

"Okay. All you gotta' do is press down now." He informed me, and I waited a second before I did so, almost jumping at the louder than expected thump. Natsu just grinned, "I thought you would be a heavy hitter."

"Is that a bad thing?" I wondered, realising how different everything sounded when you were at the source of the noise, not the echo when it reached the back of the room.

"So many legends are heavy hitters. I'm a case in point."

"I hadn't realised you were classified a legend." I eyed him curiously, "Who gave you that title?"

A smirk twitched on his lips and he shook his head, "God, I don't know whether it's insanely hot how you cut me down, or insanely adorable that you don't even know you are doing it." I felt my lips pull up a little, and I spied his sticks, tucked into his back pocket. Just as he stood up, I swiped them bravely.

"Teach me something." I demanded, unsure of where I got this sudden urge of courage, but more than willing to ride it for as long as I could. Before I could crumble into the mess of a person that I had gotten used to.

"Alright." He agreed easily before instructing me on the right way to hold the sticks, "We'll focus on the kick-drum and the cymbal. It's a little tricky to start with, but you'll try your hardest, right?"

I nodded, the sticks feeling a little strange in my hands, "I wasn't very good at instruments in school though. I don't think I'm talented enough for it."

"You probably didn't have a hot teacher." He grinned smugly, and I frowned a little, opening my mouth to ask him a serious question when he held up a hand with a groan.

"You are going to say, _"Do you have a temperature? Is that why you are hot?"_ Or something like that, right?"

I pursed my lips, "I was actually going to agree with you." His mouth popped open in surprise as I faced the drum-set again, narrowing my eyes carefully, as I finished, "I had noticed you run a warmer temperature than other people I know. It's really strange. I'd call you a reptile, but they are cold blooded."

He made a vague choking noise which I dismissed to run a finger along the edge of the cymbal, before helpfully adding, "If I was you, I'd check it out with a doctor. Better safe than sorry."

"I'm a masochist." I heard him mutter, "That's the only _logical_ reason I like getting my ego thrashed by her. God, I make one confident comment, and it turns into a medical anomaly."

I turned towards him, a little puddle of worry and anxiety growing at the base of my spine, "Have I upset you? I didn't mean to insult you, I'm sorry. Would you like… vengeance?"

"Vengeance." He repeated, eyes a little narrowed as I nodded, biting my lip before stating weakly.

"Sometimes I say things that I don't realise is mean. So, it's only fair if you say something mean to me, or about me, and I just deal with it." The memory of a girl from high-school, Minerva… _something,_ telling me that if I was going to act like a bitch, I would be treated like a bitch. I hadn't gotten bullied around a lot in high-school but it was enough to put a big enough dent in my confidence and make me realise some harsh truths.

"Who told you that is the right way to go?" Natsu crouched down, getting awfully close as I glanced away, shrugging a little whilst my hands tightened on the sticks, almost hoping to ignore this subject so he could teach me, and I could listen to him play. The loud thumping of my heart could have been caused my anxiety or something worse, something I never wanted to subject Natsu too.

"I don't know." I murmured truthfully, not really blaming Minerva for what she had said.

"I don't have a verbal filter. Or much of any sort of filter. I can navigate through some _uncomfortable_ moments, okay but when it comes to friendships and things like that, I struggle."

"No, you don't." Natsu's sharp words made me look towards him again, a frown of confusion on my face as he reached his hand out, lightly brushing his fingertips against my hair. My heart raced inside my chest, jumping into my throat as he pulled his hand away with a shaky exhale.

"You don't struggle. At least, not around me." He states softly, his eyes never leaving mine, "If I told you, I didn't want you to tell the truth to me anymore, what would you say?"

"It's my choice to say what I want." I whispered back, a little confused and he nodded his head, leaning closer until he was successfully in my personal space. I forced down the warmth crawling up my neck, trying to focus on his words.

"Exactly. So, what if some people can't take you how you are. It's your life, not theirs. You live to make yourself happy, and comfortable. It's not the other way around. It doesn't make you a bitch Lucy, it makes you refreshing. At least, in my perspective."

I gazed at him for a long second, my chest so tight I felt like I was going to pass-out but I persevered because this was a moment that I didn't want to take for granted. I was getting a heart to heart with someone who made my own heart go crazy. The irony of it, was just too good to pass up.

He took my silence as a bad thing and sighed, "Fine. I'll insult you. Ready?"

I merely blinked at him, and he pursed his pretty lips at me, staring me down closely.

"You look… dry today."

"Dry?" I echoed, as he nodded, crossing his arms over his chest as if waiting for my response. I thought about his 'insult' before tapping my foot lightly against the pedal, a light thumping echoing between us, "Well, it hasn't rained today. So, I guess, that means you are blaming me for the weather and that's sort of ridiculous. There isn't much logic to that insult, at all."

I almost missed his happy sigh, and glanced over at him as he grinned, "Alright, now that the universe is restored to correct balance, let's get your five-minute lesson on the road."

* * *

I wasn't feeling well. Virgo and Natsu were both in classes, and it was just finishing up. My heart-rate was going past the point of normal, and heading sharply to _dangerous._ My fingers fumbled to message Cap, who was at the house now probably, doing some maintenance on the shed out back. A song that sounded like blurred words, and fuzzy noises blasted through my headphones, as I attempted to drown out the sound of my own heart.

It had been a two days since Natsu's impromptu drum lesson, and I had been going _so well._ No attacks. No problems. My heart rate hadn't gone past one hundred and ten which was fairly impressive considering my track record. I _hated_ that it messed up now.

I was in the process of reading Cap's message back, alerting me he'd be here within ten minutes, and I continued to pass through the Block A towards the pick-up lanes that were placed outside the campus. One of my headphones slipped out and I jumped, immediately going to press it back in when a loud shout made me stop.

"You are fucking _dead_ Dragneel."

… _Dragneel?_

I jolted, _Natsu._

Picking up my pace, I headed towards that noise with little hesitation, growing more worried as loud grunts and illicit swearing were caught by my ears. I rounded the corner, immediately noticing the pink haired, scarf wearing lunatic who wore a menacing snarl.

Two guys were brandishing screwdrivers, and I felt my stomach twist in horror. Before I could think about doing _anything_ to stop the fight, to get him help, Natsu growled out, "You've got some nerve, _showing up here._ "

"You don't own the campus." One of the men sneered and I stepped back a little, keeping most of my body hidden behind the wall, wondering how they hadn't seen me when I appeared.

_Why was Natsu fighting?_

_Who were those guys?_

The urge to run out and confront them almost made me do exactly that, but however oblivious I may be, I knew what a dangerous situation looked like. And I would be useless in a fight against screwdrivers and large men. But that still left me with the question, as to why I wasn't running to get an instructor?

"No, I don't, _prick._ But I do remember telling you to piss off a while back, and now here you are again." I peeked around the corner, just as one man rushed Natsu, screwdriver pointing out threateningly. I watched, shell-shocked as Natsu effortlessly dodged the weapon, grabbed the man's wrist and twisted it.

The man dropped the screwdriver onto the grass, and cried out. Horror was replaced with awe and disbelief as Natsu brought his fist back, a vicious sneer on his lips, as his hands, _his hands that made music, and played with tiny balls of beads,_ slammed into the guy's face. The crack echoed all the way to me, and I shivered a little, rubbing my arms.

Natsu let go of the wrist, watching with dark satisfaction as the man slumped to the pavement unconscious. His friend, who had been waiting on the sidelines, rushed up and Natsu laid him off just as quickly, a sharp flying kick to the jaw, and a particularly rough knee to the stomach. Once they both laid on the ground, Natsu nudged them with his foot, flopping one onto his back.

I watched as he crouched down, and I had to lean a little closer to hear his threat, "You've got twenty seconds to get off this campus. You are lucky I let you go after what you did to that boy. Get the _fuck_ out of my sight, and stay away from me."

 _What boy?_ I asked myself, before biting my lip as the less injured one – I couldn't tell which one that was – hauled his friend up, and they both began limping towards the exit. Natsu reached down and retrieved his phone, before plopping down on the pile of bricks behind the building with a grimace.

I adjusted my bag, before making my way over to him curiously, reaching into my purse to find the tissues I always carried around with me. Natsu had blood on his knuckles, and his jaw looked a little bruised, which made me think I had gotten there to see the tail end of the fight, but nothing else.

I sat down beside him, ignoring his jump of surprise, and handed him the tissue. He took it slowly and I hummed, "I didn't call an educator or a faculty member. I'm surprised they didn't hear you, though."

"How long were you here?"

I glanced over at him, "Long enough."

He breathed out slowly, hard lines in his face making him look older and more… _unsettled._ I realised then, Natsu _wasn't_ the stereo-typical bad-guy but he had the past and looks for it. And he obviously had some skeletons in his closet.

That realisation, relaxed me. Because, after all this time, I had been trying to figure Natsu out. And whilst I hadn't done that, I had learned something about him.

I pulled out my phone, realising that I had managed to ignore my attack altogether by watching Natsu fight. Perhaps a distraction was all I needed. Something that made adrenaline course through me? Which didn't make any sense, considering adrenaline normally caused the heart to go faster.

I opened my heart app, and asked, "Can I touch you?"

"What?"

I held out my hand for his, and he hesitantly gave it, now watching me as I pressed his thumb to the little sensor on my phone. It tracked his heart at one hundred and thirty beats per minute, a fairly _average_ heart beat for someone who still had adrenaline trying to settle inside them.

I let go of his hand and tracked mine, smiling when it came up one hundred and twenty-eight beats per minute.

"Look," I shook the phone lightly, "We match." His lips twitched a little, clearly holding back a smile and it calmed me. Even though the stress of the fact that I _hadn't_ been in a fight, and the only reason for my elevated heart-beat was because I wasn't stable, I liked that I could make him smile.

Even if it hurt to make myself smile afterwards.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed all your comments on the last chapter and am super glad you seem to be liking it so far! A few of you picked up on Natsu's odd character and it made me cackle gleefully.
> 
> Surely you didn't think Lucy was the only one with issues.
> 
> Anyway.
> 
> Let me know what you think, your reviews are always appreciated!
> 
> And I'll probably start replying to them (who knows)
> 
> As always guys,
> 
> Stay fresh
> 
> Xo freshprincess


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drops this into your lap.
> 
> Oops.

 

* * *

**"Sometimes the people we love, don't notice we hurt."**

The minute I woke up, I felt wrong _._

Like my skin didn't fit me, or it was constantly wound tight.

My stomach wasn't settled, and when I attempted to _eat_ something, I found myself unable to even swallow. Spitting out my customary avocado spread on toast, I scraped the left-overs into the bin and promised myself I would get lunch.

Capricorn had already left for work – being an elementary school teacher – and I had my first lecture at eleven. I messaged Virgo, informing her I'd be at building D in thirty minutes, before packing my things and walking to the bus-stop.

Once I boarded the bus, I checked my heart-beat. Or at least tried too, but when the app called for an update, and I wasn't connected to wi-fi of any sort, I tucked my phone away and did it the old-fashioned way.

I was up to thirty-eight, keeping my eye on my watch as I counted when the bus jolted suddenly, my concentration broken. All the patrons rocked forward at the surprise break, and the bus-driver roughly cursed a group of people that didn't obey street signs.

He apologised to the passengers before slowing down to stop at a red light, and I reached into my bag to retrieve my headphones, hoping some loud music would settle my wild nerves. I had days where my anxiety would peak for no reason – or as Mrs Smith would say, there is _always a reason,_ you just don't know it yet – and loud music or something equally distracting would get me through.

I only had one lecture, and one theoretical study class today, so it was a short day at least.

The music blared into my ears, drowning out all other noise as I kept my eyes out the window, watching the scenery of houses and small shops pass-by. When the bus turned down the street that the college was located, I leaned forward to press the button.

My legs felt heavy, my skin tight and uncomfortable. I grit my teeth together, focusing on moving down the aisle slowly as the bus-driver slowed to a stop right across from the entrance. He gave me a farewell, customary for even the grumpiest of bus-drivers, but the noise was blurry to my ears, something like white noise.

It disorientated me, but I continued, walking across the street, feeling myself stumble a few times. I didn't have it in me to be embarrassed, as panic set in.

_Something was wrong._

The loud music had done nothing, and that was usually my go-to method. I wracked through my memory, trying to remember the last time I had felt like this, and what it was. My mind was muddled, my chest in mild pain and my bones felt like rubber.

I only realised then, that I hadn't clocked the beats per minute. I had been trying too, but I had got distracted by the bus. I wasn't the type to forget things, or get distracted easily. My throat tightened as I stopped at a park-bench, ignoring the bustling court-yard of young adults in front of me.

I leaned against it, trying my hardest to make a mental list.

_Easily distracted, check._

_Feeling unsettled, check._

_Unable to eat, check._

_Mild discomfort in chest, check._

I took a deep breath in, but instead of helping me, it was cut off half way, a rasp replacing it.

_Shit._

I realised what this was, and how late I was to catch it. When I attempted to move again, the world spun around me. I took it one step at a time, reaching into my bag to pull my phone out, while slowly walking towards building D.

If I could just get to Virgo, she'd call Aquarius.

_Aquarius would probably chew me out the minute she found out I had left the house this morning like this – unknowingly or not._

I wondered what I looked like, swaying and holding my arms across my chest, hoping to relieve some of the ache. I probably looked intoxicated but the best thing about college was, they didn't really take notice. And I didn't really care what I looked like anyway.

My hands shook and vision swam, frustrated tears stinging me as I tapped on Virgo's name, and brought the phone up to my ear. I could see the stretch of a massive building, and vaguely made out our park bench whilst it rang.

I saw her, and a mop of pink hair, talking happily, and I momentarily felt guilty and sad that I was about to ruin it. My footsteps staggered as I made my way to her, knees growing weak, eyes struggling to focus. The floor tipped and I felt like I was falling down the rabbit hole, unable to stop myself from stumbling a little.

I watched as Virgo retrieved her phone and answered it, her voice cooing into my ear, "Are you here yet? Natsu's trying to be funny."

Natsu made a face at her words and her laugh made tears fill my eyes. I clutched my chest, and breathed heavily.

_Just a little closer._

"Lucy?" I watched as Virgo's spine straightened, as if she could _tell_ something was wrong. Her voice became concerned and I stumbled again, the pain beginning to get just this side of intense. My heart raced in my chest, and my equilibrium collapsed inside of me.

"H-Help." I managed to whisper, noticing how her head snapped up towards me as my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I lost all feeling. The sensation of air rushing around me made my skin feel overly hot, as the last thing I remember, was the loud snap my head made with the concrete path.

When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed.

Nothing new there, because I had gotten used to the stupid I.V and the stupid uncomfortable lights that made everything seem so white, and clinical. I could hear Aquarius outside and stopped scowling to eavesdrop on what she was saying.

"What she has can cause fainting and pain. It doesn't happen often, because she monitors her heart, but if she wakes up with a very fast heart-beat, it causes her to forget, fumble and eventually, her body can't take the speed and sends all sorts of things into chaos."

Virgo's voice came next, and it shook, "Will she be okay? I didn't manage to catch her in time, she hit her head pretty hard."

"She probably has a slight concussion. The doctor has already applied butterfly sutures to the split, but other than that, she's fine."

"Are they going to keep her for observation?" Another voice asked and it took me a minute to realise it was Natsu. My stomach curled oddly, and I assumed it was because I wasn't sure if I wanted him to know about this side of me. Of course, it was too late now, but still; I'd like to have told him in a conversation.

Not allow him to witness an attack first hand.

"She'll be released in thirty minutes or so, after her Doctor checks her. You guys can go inside and wait for her to wake up, while I fill out her paperwork. Please tell her, she's going to wish she's in a coma after this." I only smiled a little at Aquarius's snooty voice, knowing that was the most affectionate she was going to get in front of other people.

And also knowing, I would be getting the proverbial shit kicked out of me.

I sat up, and pulled my hair into a pony tail, grimacing at the leaf that fell out of it and onto my lap. I was dressed in a hospital gown, which made me believe they had first planned to keep me here longer. Or maybe, hospitals just really didn't like normal clothes.

But it also didn't explain how I fainted, and got a room. I figured I'd be put into the clinic, which is where I go most of the time.

Virgo walked in, clearly surprised to see me awake, as I smiled a little, plucking at the IV inserted into my arm.

"Hey."

Natsu followed her in, eyes glancing over me as Virgo walked forward, and wrapped her arms around me, "How are you feeling?" I accepted the offer of a hug, and let her squeeze me for a little before admitting.

"Like someone just stepped on my head. How long have I been out?"

"Only a few hours," she stated, pulling up a chair so she could sit down. Natsu loitered and I sighed a little.

"You can sit down. I don't mind." I lied a little, I did mind because he still knew and there was a problematic part of me, that assumed once he knew about it; he'd give up. I wasn't sure if I knew Natsu well enough to make assumptions but I did know people tend to stay away from other complicate people.

He defied all logic and took a seat at the end of my bed, asking, "Did they put a catheter in?"

Virgo blanched as I shook my head, "There's nothing wrong with my urethra or bladder."

"Isn't it funny how urethra sounds like eureka?" He mused, tugging on his lip piercing thoughtfully, before adding with an amused glint in his eyes, "I mean, obviously, it must be a reference to that feeling you get when you hold a big pee in for a really long time and then visit the john."

"Why wouldn't you go when you needed to go?"

Natsu simply shrugged, "I get bored."

I felt an unwilling, but amused smile tug at my lips, "You're a trip."

He nodded along, an amused smirk sliding over his lips, "And you're a faint. See what I did there?"

I laughed a little, pressing a hand to my head, "Very clever. You should do this a job. Walk around a hospital and make sick people laugh." His smile dimmed a little and I wondered why, what I had said to spark that reaction. But he acted like it never happened and just cackled madly.

"I'd leave so many old people in fits of laughter. I've got some pretty good 'Your mama' jokes."

Virgo sighed, shaking her head, "Do you see what I have to deal with? Natsu just _doesn't_ stop talking."

"I'm an _artist._ I speak my thoughts."

"I am also an artist, and I don't want to hear about your pornographic food dreams." Virgo drawled back and I laughed, silently wanting to know about said dreams. I assumed Natsu was strange like that, but I was beginning to believe I had no idea.

They bickered back and forth for a bit, until Mrs Brown made her appearance. She calmly strode in, and glanced at my company.

She smiled patiently, "I'll just need some room to examine Lucy, if you guys can just step to the side." Natsu jumped up, and followed Virgo to wall closest to me, as they watched her lift a torch to shine in my eyes.

"Did you manage to record your heart-beat before the initial attack started?"

"No, but I think it was only slightly faster than the one in the build-up. It didn't hit me out of nowhere, I didn't feel good as soon as I woke-up." She nodded, and checked over my sutures.

"And what about your coping mechanisms? They didn't work?'

I shook my head, "I tried to play loud music, thinking it was anxiety related, but it didn't do anything at all."

She took my wrist and timed my heart-beat now, "Do you understand what has happened?"

"I woke up with a heart-beat too fast, and since I didn't stay home and forgot to take my tablets, it escalated until my body gave out?" I guessed and she nodded, reaching very to my chart to scribble something down.

"It's not common, but it can happen, especially since you are suffering from anxiety and acute touch-phobia."

"I wouldn't say it's a phobia." I mutter mulishly, "I just don't like it."

"It has been a while since you've had an attack. I'll leave Aquarius with a prescription for the headache, but I don't want to up your dosage on anything else. If I do, it'll be harder to ween your body off the effects."

I nodded and she clicked her pen, before stating seriously, "No college for three days. Rest up. Eat a lot of protein. No strenuous activities."

I opened my mouth to argue, because I felt _fine_ now and would like to go back to College as soon as possible when she held up her hand, "It's important to give your body a chance to recuperate. I'm sure your friends can help you catch up on anything you miss."

Virgo agreed, "Yeah! I'll take extra notes – just for you!"

Doctor Brown nodded, as if pleased with her words but I remained silent, looking down at my hands with a blank look. She left soon after, telling me once the nurse took out my IV, I could leave.

I grinded my teeth together quietly, and Virgo murmured, "It's only for a few days."

Aware that Natsu was still in the room, I closed my eyes to stop the tears of frustration that prickled in them. They both left to give me privacy when the nurse came in with a plastic bag, full of my clothes and took the IV out. I wondered why I even had a saline drip, but figured it was way beyond my mental capabilities to understand.

I felt weak, and useless. There was nothing worse than being bed-bound after your body decides it's not strong enough to simply _live._ I wanted to forget it ever happened, I just wanted to move on but if I had people telling me that I needed to take a short break, then what could I do besides listen to them?

_No strenuous activities._

I felt my stomach coil in sickness and I closed my eyes tightly again, leaning forward to place my head against my knees. I stayed there for a bit, stifling my cries against the skin of my knees, wrapping my arms around myself.

Then two hands touched my shoulders, and a voice made a dam of tears break through.

"Feeling like shit, pet?"

The bed dipped with his weight, and I croaked out, "Nothing I can't handle Uncle Svet."

"That's good," His voice was teasing, "You almost had me thinking you were _crying._ "

"I've lived a happy life, no reason to cry."

He was quiet for a few moments before whistling, "You are one morbid little lady. Remind me again, why do I put up with your bullshit?"

"Because your bullshit is ten times worse?"

"Touché." He laughed before he tugged on my pony-tail, "I've been away for at least a week or so. You aren't even going to give me a smile?"

I wiped my eyes and lifted my head, eyes roaming over his facial features. Long black hair was pulled into a precarious man-bun at the back of his head – that truthfully should look ridiculous on a man his age but somehow didn't – a strong jaw, the Heartfilian nose and dark eyes stared back at me, as well as the prominent cheek-bones and the black ink lining his neck, crawling up to his jaw and ears.

"God, you are _ugly._ " I smiled a little and he burst out laughing, hands squeezing my shoulders.

"Is that any way to talk to your favourite uncle?"

"You are my only Uncle, Svet."

"Would you stop calling me that? You used to call me 'Uncle Acy-no-holy'." He mimicked my childlike voice and I cringed, wiping my cheeks to try and get rid of the drying feeling of tears.

"Don't remind me, Svet. Acnologia is so long to say, your Dad must have really hated you if he landed you with that name." I tittered at him cheekily and he narrowed his eyes.

"The more letters in the name, the more love the parents have."

"The more letters in the name, the less fucks the parents gave."

He let out his booming laugh again, his face crinkling with amusement as he tugged me into his arms. I accepted his hug, because Svet was the _only_ one who could hug me without asking permission. He had been there since I was a kid, and stuck around well into my adult-hood.

We lived together, but business had him travelling a fair-bit.

He gave me a firm squeeze and I breathed in the smell of home, glad that he was here. Svet always seemed to make my moods vanish, or at least was the best equipped to deal with them.

"I spied a boy outside with Virgo." He stated, as a way of making conversation, "Boyfriend?"

"He is a friend, and he is of male gender. Maybe, Male-friend?" I replied and he snorted.

"You kissed him yet?"

"We aren't… together." I frowned, pulling back as an uncomfortable feeling curled in my stomach. He laughed at the look I was giving him and held up his hands.

"I'm just teasing. You can date whoever you want."

"But, I don't want to date." I frowned even harder and he sighed happily, ruffling my hair.

"Never change."

I got dressed, listening to Acnologia order around Ari like it was his God-given right. With the growls, Aquarius was summoning from her chest, I knew it wouldn't be long until they inevitably got into a fight.

But Svet was just that type of person.

When he was in a good mood, he liked to antagonise or challenge people.

But when he was in a bad mood… he was the equivalent of a toddler throwing a tantrum. But one with large muscles and an even larger mouth.

"Aquarius, get me some coffee."

"I'm not your damn assistant, you _prick._ Get it yourself."

"Who do you think my darling pet would like to see more? Your sour face, or my dashing one?"

"How about you take your dashing face, and shove it up your ass." Ari hissed back and I pulled on my shoes, collecting my bag from the table beside me and made my way out. Natsu and Virgo were watching the two bickering adults, Virgo having met Svet once or twice, and Natsu, not having met _any_ of my family members.

"That's crude Aquarius, now I know where Lucy gets her horrible language from." Svet smirked, staring down at the woman whose eye twitched wildly. He had told me before, the advantage of riling up women, and being taller than them was something unlike anything else.

I called him an asshole, but failed to notice that _he had riled me up_ and was staring down at me in the exact same way.

"Can we please avoid a family brawl in the middle of the hospital? I spoke up, brushing my fingers over the butterfly sutures there. Ari and Svet stopped hissing at each other, long enough to turn to me. Virgo took my bag from me and Natsu helped me into a jacket.

"It's cold outside." He explained, and I noticed he wasn't wearing a jacket anymore. I smiled at him slightly, before noticing the dark splotches of bruises on his knuckle.

"What happened?" I pointed them out and he glanced down. It had been two weeks or so since his fight with the two men out the back of College and from what I knew, it wasn't a weekly thing.

Natsu shrugged, "Just had a little problem. Nothing big."

I eyed him for a second, before nodding, "Okay. Did you…"

Virgo turned away when she noticed that she was staring – among Ari and Svet – and I felt nerves coil in my stomach, making my heart race a little, as he brought my attention back to him.

"Yeah?"

"Did you want… Um, if you ask Virgo, she can give you my number. And you can call later on… and I'll answer anything you want to know." I closed my eyes tightly, before a warm hand lightly touched my own, fingers skimming my skin.

Electricity shot up my arm and I opened my eyes wearily, surprised to see him wearing a smile, "I'll call you later then. Probably not too late, since you have to rest."

"How about not _ever_?" Svet chimed grumpily, obviously not appreciating that I was in the process of making a new friend. Ari hissed at him to shut up and Virgo backed it up by following the noise.

"Yeah." I felt my cheeks heat with how he kept looking at me, not paying them any attention.

"Okay, good." He smiled a little wider and I looked away, my breath coming out a little shakily. I bit my lip, and took a step away from him, turning to Svet who seemed to be glaring at Natsu.

"Are we going to go?"

Svet continued to glare at Natsu who seemed to understand _why_ he was glaring and decided to match it with his own. Ari and I sighed, whilst Virgo tried to stifle her laughter.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't look at me like that.
> 
> Acnologia DESERVES to be here.
> 
> The happiness of an AU is fantastic.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think
> 
> and Happy Valentines day~~
> 
> stay fresh sweeties
> 
> xo freshprincess

**Author's Note:**

> The first addition of, Let Me Be There, is finally out.
> 
> Okay, so this is going to be updated every four days ~ it may change considering the fan-base and/or my real life situation.
> 
> On another note, I kept getting my partner to count my heartbeat and research everything I could about SVT which is the acronym for Syperventricular Tachycardia. In this book, Lucy has the most common one in the three that belong to this certain group. I also had to call my friend who is a training nurse at the wee hours of the morning to get some of my facts straight - DO NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ ON GOOGLE.
> 
> Continuing on, leave a review if you enjoyed it, if you wanted to be added to the Skype group were you will get the chance to message me, and receive sneak-peaks on any upcoming works or one of the many fics I'll never published, either find me on Tumblr or message me here.
> 
> You guys are looking fantastic, and I hope you've killed some of your New Years Resolutions!
> 
> I'll see you next time,
> 
> as always guys
> 
> stay fresh!
> 
> xo freshprincess.


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